Why Aren’t the Older Christians Discipling the Younger?

in Mentoring, Motherhood, Purposeful Living on

Mentoring is a popular term in society today; but this idea of mentorship was actually God’s idea.

A common phrase and popular profession today is Coaching. In the business world there is consulting, in the medical field there is counseling and physchiatrists, and many of those professions and duties have found their way into the Church.  None of those things mentioned are bad, per say. But as believers who desire to be living Biblically, we cannot ignore the fact that God has a plan for who should be giving wise counsel– and the answer is found in Titus chapters one and two.

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older womenlikewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish [teach-KJV]the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:1-5

God doesn’t call it mentoring, nor does He call it coaching, counseling, or discipling, but what is described here, in this passage is an accumulation of all these things.

Notice also that it does not say that the young women should be teaching other young women. Interesting. Just something for you to chew on and wrestle with.

God has given a Christian duty, a role in the Great Commission, to the older generation of believers in the Body of Christ– that is to TEACH, admonish, and exhort the younger generations in how to live the Christian life.

It is interesting to note that the word exhort is the word used to the older men in how they are to disciple the younger men and the word admonish and teach  is the word chosen to describe the interaction between the older women and the younger.

What is the difference between mentoring and discipling?

Besides that one term is used in a Biblical vocabulary and the other is not, there really is not much of a stark difference between the two terms.

The definition of mentoring is to advise or train.

The defintion of a disciple is a student or a pupil, also known as one of Jesus 12 disciples. So to disciple someone could be simply described as to teach them.

While these two definitions may look very similar, we know, because of Jesus example of discipleship that discipling is much more in depth and focused around growth in spiritual maturity and understanding of God, His ways, and what it looks like practically to be obedient to God.

The Titus 2 Woman should be doing all of this as she teaches all the things listed in the verse above with sound doctrine.

When I think of mentoring, I think of teaching another woman how to learn a new skill like canning, cooking, or sewing. Something hands on. When I think of discipleship I think of teaching a way of life which is to bring the deeper meaning of God’s Words into everyday life. So can discipleship happen in mentoring, yes, most definetely. Can mentoring happen in discipleship, yes, yes it can and it should.

What should the older generations be teaching the younger?

Basically all the spiritual disciplines that are incorporated into life. Biblical study and prayer, or at the least Biblical encouragement.

Biblically, Titus 2 gives us a pretty clear idea of the things that should be taught: all things regarding loving our husbands and children, being busy in the home, or homemakers, modesty (chaste), discretion, GOODNESS, obedience to our own husbands and God’s Word.

Can you imagine how different society could be if the generations now lording over our politics had been taught discretion and chastity?

What is required of both the young and the older?

Vulnerability. These kinds of relationships should also include letting the younger or older generations into your life on a more vulnerable level so that what is taught, admonished, and encouraged is applicable and speaks directly to the heart of the one being discipled. Jesus cared more about the heart intention than He did the action. Discipling happens as you walk out life together and witnessing how one another live out one’s faith.

The Titus 2 command to the older generations is not an option. Retirement is not Biblical and we must understand that this is God’s idea, not man’s. In His goodness He knows what is best for us all. He knows the younger generation need accountability, but so do the olders. By being in mentoring relationships we are held accountable- both the younger to the older and the older to the younger, for they must be living what they teach!

Selfishness and self-indulgence are always the way of human nature. We all want an excuse to rest and relax, but God created us all for His glory and purposes and we all have a part to play in the Great Commission. If one part of the body is not functioning, the rest will undoubtedly suffer.

The current status of the church today is that the older generation is not operating at full capacity and the younger generation is not learning from the older, which is God’s design for the younger. Instead they are googling everything.

There are massive ramifications both socially and spiritually that will come from this legacy in God’s family and it is only a matter of a few generations to find out just how severly this effects us.

I cannot urge you enough to listen to the Courageous Parenting Podcast on this topic here.

Resources on Mentoring/Discipleship:

The Courageous Parenting Podcast Episode #49: “Where are the Titus 2 Men & Women?” 

As you may know by now, I am very passionate about mentoring and the impact we have on one another. I was so blessed to engage with Ann Dunagan from Daring Daughters in these two conversations on Mentoring. I hope you will take a listen and be encouraged.

You can also view a few articles I have written on mentoring here:

I pray you are encouraged today. This is such a fruitful season you are in; embrace it. Enjoy it as much as possible. Surround yourself with people who are going to encourage you and reach out to those who need encouragement. Let’s embrace this role of being an Aspiring Titus 2 Woman of God.

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