I recently read an article that a woman I greatly admire shared. Upon reading, I was immediately convicted and regretful.
http://phyliciamasonheimer.com/christian-womens-ministry/
First of all, the author articulates her opinion with eloquence and awareness of the spiritual thermometer of her sisters in Christ. As a leader and teacher, this letter is a challenge to be even more bold as well as a sign that all those sharing it are craving just what the author is describing.
To summarize, the author was admonishing leaders to STOP preaching the fluffy feel good message “You are chosen, loved, beautiful, and unique.”
Now before you judge her message, I encourage you to head over and read her stance because she is reasonably balanced.
It’s not that she doesn’t think this message is needed, it’s that she believes it is an over-used, deficient message for dealing with the real problem women struggle with, for which I am in total agreement with her!
“I’m not saying these encouragements are false. We are God’s handiwork (Eph. 2:10). We are chosen (1 Pet. 2:9). We are unique (Matt. 10:29-31). The question is not whether or not these things are true, but whether or not this is the most important message women need to hear… If I judged Christianity by its women’s conferences, I’d be led to believe that the Bible is no more than a series of compliments from God to man. Instead, the real story is far less complimentary and far more humiliating.” Phylicia Masonheimer
Why was I convicted and regretful?
Because I desire to post relevant content that is what women NEED and this week I posted an image which took me some time to create with a message just like she described.
I was convicted because I have spoken those very words before, on Facebook LIVE videos and at Women’s Retreats. I have shared empowering messages encouraging women to embrace the truth that God chose them, regardless of how inadequate they feel, to be their child’s parent and that He has given them all instruction, guidance, and wisdom needed to be a mom in His holy Word, the Bible.
Is that a wrong message? I don’t think so.
Is it one that is redundant in the world? Maybe.
Now, being I just made this image a few days ago, there was a part of me that began to question if I was off base in creating it and sharing it?
I even began regretting having posted it, not because it isn’t true, but out of fear that it would appear a deficient message? Viewed alone, without consideration of any other posts I write at Courageous Mom {dot} com, it could seem to be like posts she is describing, lacking in substance and redundant. I would hope not, though.
One of my most foundational goals as a writer is NOT to put out fluff, but truly create thoughtful material that can be a catalyst to create change and growth in another’s life. My heart’s desire is to bring the Lord glory by what I write, that I might represent and present the gospel whole, challenging the status quo in Christianity today.
In the case of this image, I was in the midst of journaling and asking God to lead me in re-evaluating my new year’s goal and vision. I couldn’t help but be burdened for my sisters who couldn’t even begin to set goals because they are entrapped in a bondage of negative self-worth due to lies they believe and things people have spoken over them in their past. This is a real need among women today and I hear about it often due to my online Bible study “The Christian Woman’s Guide to Building Authentic God-Centered Friendships” where I get emails and texts from moms who struggle with this very real bondage every day.
I know that a simple image with an encouraging slogan isn’t most likely enough to create healing in my sister’s life, but if they are lead here to Courageous Mom hopefully they will join my Bible study which will definitely dig deeper, and hopefully be used as a tool to bring about healing and restoration, helping them to build their identity in Christ.
If you have read any of my posts on Motherhood, you will quickly see that the majority of them are inspired by an honest transparency of my own struggle with sin and fleshly temptations, what God’s Word says, and how it leads to righteousness and restoration.
All of this introspection led me to ask the question:
What do I believe women need most today?
There are a lot of things. We need men to rise up and lead biblically. We need the Church to stop watering down the truth in God’s Word and start teaching from the hardest parts of Scripture so we can all have clarity. Ultimately we need Jesus to come back again, for crying out loud!
I believe that what women need most is Jesus, the Bible, prayer, and exhortation from real life mentors to live faithful in the simple things.
I’m sorry but, I don’t think that Women’s Conferences, books, or even Bible studies done individually are the answer. What women need today is REAL RELATIONSHIPS with OLDER WOMEN a season ahead of them, actively, purposefully teaching them how to be godly wives and moms! God made us for relationships.
The CHURCH needs to obey God’s order and design for how it should function. When it does, we will begin to see older people living with a purpose, younger people living righteously, marriages thriving, being saved, and growing, kids growing up in homes with a mom and a dad that love each other and love God.
If older generations invested in the younger generations, and if younger generations valued the advice and teaching of the older generations, our families would be stronger!
A young mom approached me at church who didn’t know the first thing about cooking. She asked to be mentored and taught a few things. I immediately jumped at the opportunity because I knew that our time together wasn’t about the cooking, although I did teach her some basics. It was focused on the real honest struggle to find God in the everyday duties and simple deeds and experience His presence even in those. It was the secret to finding Christ-centered, Holy Spirit-empowered, God-glorifying contentment in everyday life as a wife and mom.
While the last thing Christian women may need is classes on skills we can learn on google or Youtube, there is something special about building a bond, in real life, with an older woman who has been doing what you are doing, just a little bit longer.
So what do I think the women in the Church need?
They need REAL relationships. They need to slow down, get off the internet, and start becoming a student of the Bible and a student of how to be a godly wife and mom from someone in their local community.
They need the power of a praying mentor in their life.
They need RELATIONSHIP because that is where real accountability and counseling is going to come from, that is how God designed the Body of Christ to work.
If you are craving more encouragement and biblical advice regarding mentoring I have written and taught on mentoring for years. HOWEVER, nothing compares to the in-real-life face-to-face relationships. So be BRAVE and get to know some older women in your church community. Pray and ask God to lead you in who you should pursue more intentionally. Don’t be scared. Just ask someone to meet with you for coffee and share with her your heart for a mentor.
The Courageous Mom 2018 Mission Statement:
To biblically build up, equip, and challenge other moms, as sisters-in-Christ, for the holy calling and sanctifying role of motherhood through testimony and teaching. My heart is to virtually mentor women up in Christ both spiritually and practically as they answer the high calling of biblical mothering.
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