I am thrilled to dive in and share with you all about the Biblical Womanhood Ceremony I held for my 14-year-old daughter recently, but before I do, I have a few relevant questions I want you to ponder.
When did you feel like other’s viewed and valued you as a woman?
Do you remember when you were a teenager, how badly you yearned to be older?
Remember back to how you treated your siblings, your friends, and your mom. Does that reality of knowing how you were or witnessing other girls be just downright nasty, cultivate fear in you for raising your daughter through the teenage years?
The truth is, regardless of if you are in a Christian culture or not, most of the society views the teenage years the same, with animosity.
It doesn’t have to be that way!
It shouldn’t be that way!
The years of youth in a young woman’s (or man’s) life should be something to look forward to. They should be filled with purpose and blessing; both for you and for your teen!
Can I just encourage you that the teenage years with your children DO NOT HAVE TO BE DESPISED!
REJECT SOCIETY’S VIEW & EXPECTATIONS OF TEENAGERS!
God’s word says that children are a blessing, and there is a promise for the faithful parents who train them up in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6)
“A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” Proverbs 10:1
So how do we “make” our sons and daughters wise? We certainly don’t want a foolish child, as that will bring them, us, and the Lord sorrow! Discipleship and prayer are the answers. Simply leading our children to know God, His word, and will and inviting the Holy Spirit into our parenting and home is the only hope we have for our children being wise.
I’m not saying that we can save our kids because that is all in the Lord’s hands, but we do get to raise these children He has given us for Him.
Listen, the bottom line is this: most teens don’t feel appreciated, valued, or empowered and equipped for adulthood. Our society prolongs childhood and doesn’t know how to celebrate transitions or seasons in life. Those awkward years don’t actually need to be awkward. I know this because I have 8 children, 4 of whom have been walking through the teen years… and they are not awkward. They are confident, emotionally intelligent, respectful, adjusted, and capable young people!
One way to help encourage your daughters as they are moving into being a young woman is to CALL OUT THE WOMAN IN THEM!
It is the MOST POWERFUL thing for a girl to be acknowledged as a woman, especially by her mother. This is your jurisdiction and privilege to raise a biblical woman for the King.
One fun way to do that is through celebrating womanhood and hosting a ceremony for her.
Here is the Courageous Parenting Podcast episode where Isaac and I talk about both the Manhood Ceremony & the Womanhood Ceremony. We even interview some of our teenagers.
Like I mentioned in the podcast, I have not had the privilege of participating in or witnessing a Biblical Womanhood Ceremony or event of any kind. I have never read a book about what this would look like, but my husband had read “Raising Modern Day Knights” over a decade ago when our oldest son was just a toddler. He had the vision from the time he was young to do something like this for him and all our other sons, so, I felt inspired to do the same for our young woman.
WHY & HOW TO HAVE A BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD CEREMONY:
- Vision for Biblical Womanhood
- Invite Other Biblical Women to Participate & Speak into your Daughter’s Life
- Create a Signature Experience She Will Remember
Vision for Biblical Womanhood
This is where you have an opportunity to speak into your daughter’s life, to lead her to a deeper understanding of what God has called her to in womanhood. I wrote a short 30-minute talk, going through Scripture, about what God says about His Women. What does God’s word speak about regarding biblical womanhood? This is a mother’s jurisdiction to teach her daughter.
This is a time to equip your daughter with a biblical perspective on what God desires for her to grow in, and a time to affirm her in what you already see growing in her!
Invite Other Biblical Women
If you are reading this and your daughters are little, GOOD! It can take years to cultivate a strong Biblical community with 4-10 strong Biblical women, that you trust, to speak into your daughter’s life. It doesn’t have to take long, I am just saying, good for you in reading this and beginning to grasp another vision why it is so important for you to be a part of biblical community. Your daughter NEEDS to have other godly women in her life. Be praying for this and pursuing those relationships now.
Create a Signature Experience
There is no right way or wrong way to do this ceremony.
You could have a weekend retreat away and just invite 1-2 women to come too. Have a special dinner, either in a restaurant or in your home, or a park. The point is that you would make it special though.
So think about your daughter. What would make her just glow?
For my youngest daughter, I planned a one night stay at a local resort, invited her older sister and grandma to join us for a Spa-cation. We went to the spa, shopped, and just spent girly time together because I knew that would fill her love tank. Then, a dear friend came to the resort, took photos of us all, and we headed over to an evening ceremony at the restaurant. I had each woman come prepared to share a 5-10 minute message to encourage Megan as she is entering womanhood. They were each asked to bring a small token for her to remember their message. The night was amazing! It took about 4-5 hours for each of the seven of us to share our thoughts, prayers, Scriptures, and gift with her. It was truly an amazing night. We are so grateful for the women in our community who have invested in a personal relationship with Megan. They have pursued a relationship with her, beyond babysitting or being their child’s friend, and I LOVE that. I chose the women carefully, wanting to choose women I trusted would be in her life for many years and hold her accountable to living life after God as well. During the ceremony, I went through the Declaration of Biblical Womanhood which I created for her and had them all sign.
**The 2 Declarations, for Manhood & Womanhood, are downloads we offer in our parenting program.
This was just what I chose to do. It was amazing, but we saved for a while for this event. I desired for it to be a signature experience in my daughter’s life. One that she would look back on as a pivotal moment in her life when others were acknowledging and calling out the woman in her. And possibly, one day I will get to attend one of these events for a granddaughter if my girls choose to make this a tradition as well.
There is no right or wrong way to go about calling out and teaching your daughter about Biblical womanhood. Be creative, make it personal, and just go for it. The point is that we would embrace our job of being a Biblical Woman and teaching our daughters what that means as well.
Be Courageous,
Angie Tolpin
