Did you know that as a wife, you have a massive opportunity to encourage your husband towards fulfilling one of God’s calls on his life (and your’s as well)?
Hospitality is one means God uses to fulfill the Great Commission!
But His people have to be willing to serve others, be vulnerable, and OBEY His Word!
Are you willing?
Many wives don’t even realize that by not wanting to practice hospitality themselves, they are not only missing out on a HUGE BLESSING, but they are also preventing their husbands from obeying the Bible, and disqualifying them from church leadership. I didn’t realize I was doing this at one point, but I was!
God designed the Body of Christ, the Family of God, to function like a family. And His design is beautiful, creative, and He has told us in His word that it is important that we do not neglect to meet together! Why is this? Because He loves us. When He writes, in His letter to us, that we are to be hospitable, it’s because He knows what is best for us, that we need real, honest, deep connections with one another.
I have a confession. I haven’t always had a heart ready to serve through hospitality. Those times when I don’t it is usually because my flesh is weak, or rather my flesh is strong and my selfishness wants to say no.
Do you want to know what has helped to cure my struggling with my flesh?
Prayer for God to give me a heart of service changed everything. It changed my perspective, my motive, my attitude, and my preparations as well! Prayer helped me to take hospitality on as if it were a part of my job, my duty, and I am learning every time how to delight in that duty.
There have definitely been seasons when I was less given to hospitality than others, but when I look back and take an honest look at where my heart condition was, it was less about serving and more about giving God the gifts I wanted to give Him, the way I wanted to give them versus trying to be obedient to all His ways.
This past month I had to prepare an hour and a half teaching on hospitality for the moms at our church and as I studied deeper and deeper into Scripture, I realized how this is a requirement of leaders in God’s church.
Did you know that there are MANY Scriptures which instruct men, as well as women, to be “given to hospitality” and “to love hospitality.” In fact, it’s a requirement of a “bishop” or leader/elder in the Church!
“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach” 1 Timothy 3:2, KJV
“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,” 1 Timothy 3:2, ESV
Then in Titus 1:6-8, ESV, it says:
“For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.”
The King James Version says he must be “a lover of hospitality.”
And if it is a “requirement” of an elder, technically we have the ability to disqualify our husbands from leadership within the church by not helping them to do this! Another way of stating it bluntly would be that if we are why our husbands are not “given to hospitality” then we are technically preventing them from obeying the Bible.
It is true that in marriage, two become one. In this regard, we wives have MASSIVE influence and have the power to encourage, as well as discourage, our husbands from desiring to be hospitable.
This is one opportunity where your oneness with your husband helps him to fulfill his calling to be given to hospitality.
Ways You Can Encourage Your Husband in Being Hospitable
- having a good attitude when they ask us to have someone over- be careful with your initial reaction- SMILE
- having a joyful heart attitude while preparing
- working busily in our home to prepare ahead of time. This reduces stress the day of MASSIVELY and keeps your home mostly ready for hospitality on any given day!
- having your fridge or pantry stocked ready at any point to be hospitable (always have coffee, tea, a few things in the freezer ready to whip up real quick)
- by being a gracious host that others enjoy visiting with and getting to know
Ways You Will Discourage Your Husband from Being Hospitable
- having a bad attitude when he invites someone over- aka grumbling- see verse below
- having a spiteful or nagging attitude, or being harsh with him or the kids as you prepare
- having unrealistic expectations of him, the family, and yourself regarding hospitality
- not “nourishing” your marriage first
- not trying to connect with those who are invited over
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” 1 Peter 4:8-9
Ok. Let’s be honest. This verse is SUPER CONVICTING, right? Please tell me I am not alone in this.
I will never forget the time we were getting ready to have another family over and I totally sinned against everyone in my family by losing my temper, yelling, and angerly mumbling unkind accusations towards my family members under my breathe as I stormed around the kitchen hustling to get dinner ready before the guests arrived.
Now listen, I am by no means perfect, and this scenario has been re-enacted multiple times throughout my homemaking, wifey, mom life journey. But if this story resonates with you, I want to tell you there is HOPE for you! Yes, you, my sister, can actually experience joy in preparing for guests!
I would like to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and begin practicing hospitality.
Open up your home to those God puts in your path but that you don’t have regular fellowship with. Ask God to reveal to you how to minister to those you serve.
Pray ahead of time for those you plan on having over.
This one intentional pursuit of praying for your guests before they come can enrich your together immensely. I challenge you to obey God’s word and practice hospitality. This is where deep fellowship can happen– in your home–at the table.
Listen, our husband’s can’t practice hospitality without us! Well, technically they can, but it will be a lot easier with our help! Plus, if we are desiring the greater spiritual gifts for ourselves and our husband, we should also have a heart “given to hospitality.”
They need our help, support, and enthusiasm! This is one way that we get to participate in the Great Commission as a team!
If you want to serve in another ministry with your husband, here is your chance, you are called to hospitality. That is where ministry will happen–at the table, or on your couch with a cup of tea.
Here are two more posts on hospitality:
5 Tips to Practicing Hospitality When You Are Married to an Introvert
How God Can Use Your Marriage in the Great Commission