Today I want to shed light on an area of struggle we help~meets can potentially all have.
Complementing your husband doesn’t come naturally to every woman.
I have to Choose, everyday, over and over to be a wife that uplifts, encourages, and allows him to be who he was designed to be, and even then I still fall short and mess up all the time.
If we as women purpose to be complimenting and we stop secretly fighting our husbands… if we let them be the men in the relationship…let them lead… then we as women are exercising a different power. A power to let them be who they were created to be… a power to allow ourselves to be whom God created us to be. This is going to take being purposeful to fight against the cultural norm… we have to be discerning.
It is good to read these books on marriage to be proactive about growing and learning about your man. There is a danger in assuming you “know” your man and not allowing him to change and grow. Choosing to “work” at your marriage takes action. However it is also good to have confidence to know that God made you for your man, to communicate with him.
When I talk about being the wife we were “designed” to be… and say “let him be the leader,” I am not giving any man the excuse to abuse their role as the husband. When we serve & submit to our husbands… I am not suggesting you give up your opinions, never speak up when you disagree… that is NOT what I am talking about at all. Your perspectives, insights, and opinions are valuable! Very valuable, without them, your relationship would be all one~sided. What I am talking about though, is our attitude towards our husbands, our perspective of them, our expectations we hold over them.
Also, I have to add a personal note, when it comes to our opinions, we have to quickly think first… am I wanting to say this because of selfish (or self-preserving) reasons or am I speaking truth. When our motivation is pure and honestly wanting good for the other… then speak. Real Love is speaking truth. Of course, you have to use discernment for when the person can “hear” the truth. 🙂
Action Steps towards Choosing to be an Uplifting, Complimentary Wife:
Be willing to ask this question to yourself:
“If I were to ask my husband what he think of me… what would he say?” Journal it… what would he say? Journal What you wish he would say.
Then work on being more of what he needs from you. Why, because um… You are CHOOSING to Love him. If your husband was thirsty because he hadn’t drunk anything for days, you would lovingly get him a drink if he couldn’t get it himself right?
Your husband may be thirsty for respect and your confidence in him… that is not something he can get you to give him… you have to choose to give it!
Then go on a date and ask him the question…
Choose to hear the truth
Don’t live life with a bunch of lies…
Being purposeful in your marriage isn’t just reading books on marriage.
It isn’t even just going on a date a week. Although both of those things are good. It’s Choosing to love, choosing to be the best mate for your husband. It’s choosing to change, its choosing to communicate!
Blessings on Your Marriage,