Do you know many first time moms?
The truth is, when it comes to our friendships, we often stick with what is most comfortable don’t we?
It is easier to begin friendships with people who have children the same age as your children isn’t it?
You can have their family over and everyone has someone to play with; well unless you have a large family like we do, then the kids just learn to be flexible and play with all ages.
These kinds of friendships are so valuable! We have been blessed with friendships that span over 20 years with couples who have had many of their children near the times we were having our babies. Honestly, I think it’s so fun to be pregnant at the same time as other friends! We can talk about “prego” stuff together and not feel like we are annoying them, because they are “there” too. One dear friend of mine, said she liked being able to commiserate together. Lol… not that we did that very often. But there is something special about those friendships and the season of pregnancy, isn’t there?
ONE THING ABOUT CULTURE IN AMERICAN CHURCH THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE:
Our culture, American Culture, is so quick to segregate, or create cliques, from those who are in a different season. The reality is that we often choose to invest more time in relationships that are in that comfort zone.
Natural Titus 2 relationships as described in scripture is often not so natural or even common these days and it really is unfortunate.
The truth is that it takes intentionality to break out of one’s comfort zone and be willing to invest in a new friendship; especially one that might not seem like an obvious fit.
I believe that God has a blessing in store for both the younger generation and the older ones that has not yet been fully revealed in the church today.
The Lord deeply desires for us all to be in authentic community with one another, serving one another, but not to that end. This authentic community should simply be one of the catalyst to reviving souls and passing on a Kingdom Focused Legacy in the church today. And it is so healthy for our children to see us investing in the younger and older generations too. Don’t you think? It is good for them to be service minded, Kingdom Focused!
I remember when I was pregnant for the first time, I was the first of my friends to get married and the first to have babies.
I was alone, and starving for friendships, for sisterhood in this journey I was about to embark on. So I got involved in Bible studies, went to MOMs Groups at church, got involved and meet new friends that were in my season of life. I was so blessed to meet a few Sisters in the journey, but I felt something was missing. I yearned for a mentor. Someone I could talk with about my fears, hopes, and all the countless decisions before me. I craved to have a godly mentor that I could ask questions of, that wasn’t in the same season and had perspective, wisdom, hindsight and the spiritual maturity to remind me of God’s perspective.
I prayed for a new mentor and God provided.
My time meeting with Annie was sacred. It was sacred because I knew she was busy and was sacrificing time with her family and friends to mentor me. She got it. She understood that her role as my mentor was to be intentional so we studied through books on parenting, dug into scripture, and prayed together. I can’t even tell you how much of a blessing it was to my heart to know someone was praying for the specific details I had shared so privately with her. When I shared my fears, she wouldn’t make me feel like less of a Christian by asking me if I had prayed for it, because she KNEW me and knew I had already. Instead, she just listened, sometimes related, and prayed for me, even when we weren’t meeting together. Then she would come back and randomly ask how that specific concern was affecting me. Annie was safe because I knew she loved me and believed in God’s ability to minister to me and use me.
She wanted God’s best for me and didn’t hold any competitive nature in our relationship.
We need to see our role in ministering to those in the generation behind us and be intentional about fulfilling our calling. Every time I have mentored or coached a young woman, I have been blessed beyond words. She pulls information and “wisdom” out of me that I don’t even know is there. It is so empowering to be used by God. May I encourage you sister, to pray for the Lord to reveal who you should be mentoring and who should mentor you.
Step out of your comfort zone. Ask someone to mentor you or invite someone to be mentored by you.
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves too much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Titus 2:3-5, ESV
We are all to be mentoring younger sisters in the Lord. But this high calling is also a huge responsibility. We will be held accountable for what we teach. Go read James 3:1.
I recognize that the Lord has placed me in my daughter’s lives for this reason as well. I am their God chosen mentor for this season in their lives and I recognize this is my first priority with regard to mentoring, but there will be seasons in their lives when they need mentors others than me. It is how God designed the church body.
Are you purposeful in all your relationships, regardless of age or season?
We are to live our lives on purpose for the glory of the Lord. Are your friendships understanding of this purpose? Do they understand the call to be an aspiring Titus 2 Woman?
What if we were to have a seminar and could connect all the women in the world and talk to them about the importance of stepping out into God’s call of purposeful intentional relationships?
What if we were to inspire women to live their out their callings in the church?
What if your relationships, your friends heard this message of being on purpose and you all caught the vision together and decided to pray together for the Lord to reveal who each of you should be mentoring and you each began new fresh relationships with younger moms or wives simultaneously?
Can you imagine how this could empower your friendships on a new level? You would be living part of your purpose as a Titus 2 Woman. I have a few dear friends and we are all pretty passionate about the same thing on this topic. I am so thankful that those friends get that what God has called me to may slightly look different from what He has called them to, but that we all understand that we are “spending ourselves” for God. We get that if we don’t have time for each other it is because we are purposefully busy for the Lord. And we support one another. Isn’t that how it should be?
When you come together it is for a time of refreshment and encouragement… then you go out and pour yourself out for the sake of the Kingdom of God!?
I know it takes sacrifice. Relationships take time and often times they require you being willing to grow and be humbled. But it is so good for us.
Are you with me? Let’s seek out a younger mom to encourage and an older Woman to ask to disciple us! This is the basics of Biblical community.
Lead Well For the Glory of His Kingdom!
To Listen to the Courageous Parenting Podcast, “Where are the Titus 2 Men and Women?” Click here!