We need to raise our boys better than this.
I’ve absolutely had it!
I work REALLY hard at not having a critical spirit, but we need to be REALISTS and have an HONEST CONVERSATION about the mass majority of parenting, or lack thereof, going on today.
We Mothers and Fathers have an opportunity to change the future and to raise kind, RESPECTFUL, men and women who have INTEGRITY! And BEING THEIR BEST FRIEND at the EXPENSE OF BEING A PARENT WILL NOT REAP THAT!
Now, I believe with my whole heart no amount of good parenting can save your child’s soul. Your kid NEEDS JESUS DESPERATELY!
Our culture needs Jesus DESPERATELY! In Him is healing, forgiveness, the ability to forgive, FREEDOM FROM THE BONDAGE OF SIN, and LIFE ABUNDANT!
There has been an outcry of women reporting “Me too” on social media this week, responding to the charge to bring awareness to the problem of sexual harassment in our culture today.
Don’t miss out on the video Isaac and I did on this topic and how to INSTILL the INSTINCT of RESPECT in your children.
Scroll down to the bottom of this post to watch it on youtube or click here.
Before I jump into the main passion for this post I want to offer my deepest condolences and a prayer for those who have been victims.
My immediate reaction is compassion and sympathy for those hurting! It makes me nauseous just to think of all the violations. I hope you experience healing and FREEDOM from the BONDAGE that can so entrap you after having been physically, emotionally, or verbally abused! As I think back to my own experiences, I too have been sexually harassed MANY times in my past. I can empathize with feeling creeped out and, at the least, feeling threatened as patrons at the pool gawked while I worked. But I am aware that my experiences are massively minor comparatively speaking and for that I am thankful.
If you haven’t been violated, harassed, or assaulted, because these are all slightly different yet traumatizing, I want to urge you to be THANKFUL!
PRAISE GOD that you have not had to endure the emotional, physical, or verbal abuse that SO many women endure, some even daily, and within their families and work environments. Seriously, take a moment to just THANK HIM for protecting you!
If you have been violated, here is a prayer for you, my Sister!
Lord, You know what pain, suffering, betrayal, and abuse is like! The Son endured humiliating, excruciating, physical, emotional, and verbal abuse Himself… and He was innocent. I ask that You would comfort my Sister like no one else can. Bring healing to her physical body, her mind, and her spirit in Jesus Name. Amen.
Now to get to the real topic on my heart: how we as Moms are raising the next generation of men and women.
First of all, this is a HUGE topic and I will not be able to cover it all here in one post. So forgive me, because I may seem blunt at times, but I have a few things I need to exhort all of us Mothers in.
I believe this problem is an obvious result of sin gone unaccounted for. Every single offender has to take ownership for their sin. If not today, when they meet their Maker who is a God of Justice as much as He is Grace.
But what about today?
After the initial shock of witnessing so many women I know proclaiming boldly “Me too”, I immediately thought to myself, IF WE WANT TO SEE CHANGE IN THE FUTURE, THAT CHANGE WILL ONLY COME ABOUT BY BIBLICAL PARENTING.
It’s up to Moms and Dads to teach THEIR sons and daughters about sexual harassment. We must teach our sons and daughters about what goes on in the world, and how to make wise choices in friends and influences SO THAT they might proactively do all they can to remain pure from being both a victim or from falling into sin themselves.
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, it’s up to us parents to raise our children up in the ways of the Lord, which does NOT CONDONE but rather persecute such offenses. God’s Word is VERY clear about such sins.
I wonder, how were these offenders raised? What were they taught regarding God? Or were they not taught about him because they had parents that didn’t want to “push religion” on their kids.
Were these offenders taught the lie that sin didn’t exist? Did they grow up unaware of how their sin affects other people? Did they ever hear the words “self-control” or “That is disrespectful! We don’t do that because…”?
Have they NOT been taught self-control? Have they NOT been taught that SIN is real and that it is our enemy? Have they not been taught RESPECT AND LOVE FOR ALL?
The training in respectfulness and kindness starts when they are young!
It’s in those moments when they are playing sports and parents and coaches just let profane language go unchecked and undisciplined. It’s when the kids are spewing nasty comments on the court or field and getting away with it.
My boys play sports and I am APPALLED at some of the phrases and comments that I hear come out of young 7-11-year-old-boys mouths! How do they even know some of these words? What kind of crap are parents allowing their kids to watch these days?
The crazy thing to think about is that most parents are probably completely oblivious that this is even going on because they are so distracted by technology or their agendas. Either that or they haven’t developed the relationship with their kids to where they would tell them. I wouldn’t know about it either unless my boys were sharing with me, openly, and knowing that it is WRONG! Thank God we have cultivated that kind of relationship!
IF YOU HAVE CULTIVATED A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOUR CHILD FEELS COMFORTABLE TELLING YOU WHEN SOMEONE IS SINNING AGAINST THEM THEN THIS PROBABLY WE HAVE TODAY WON’T CHANGE!
DO YOUR BOYS TELL YOU WHEN THEIR FRIENDS OR TEAMMATES SAY THINGS INAPPROPRIATE?
WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT?
These are the trenches!
Do we honestly detect when our own sons are boasting, arrogant, and disrespectful to others? Do we talk to them about how ugly that is? Or do we chalk it up to, “boys will be boys!”
This is the FOUNDATION!
Arrogance, lack of self-control over their tongues, and bullying are the beginning signs.
“Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucks it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1
You will raise arrogant men who Lord over others if you let this go unchecked. And we know what the Bible says about pride.
“Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18
How does one get rid of pride? Repentance! This, just like every other symptom, requires the power of the Holy Spirit in the individual’s soul. Since we can’t make our children repent, we need to be on our knees all the more!
Moms, You have a CRUCIAL role in our future. You know this!
Do not allow sinful behaviors or attitudes to corrupt your child’s character!
Talk to them about it, and correct them appropriately when they sin! If they bully someone on the soccer field, make them sit out the next game! Who cares about that one soccer game. We are talking about the future character of your son!
Have you gone through my 11 Day Parenting Course?
11 Parenting Lessons Courageous Moms Do
The Problem of Porn!
Teach your sons about the sinfulness of pornography, don’t allow it in your home in any form: movies, websites, phones, pictures, etc...
It’s amazing to me how many people are deceived, living as complete hypocrites, saying they are “feminists for women” and yet are addicted to pornography! It is adulterous to look at it {PERIOD}!!! And it demeans and objectifies women. It is completely insulting to the real women in the world.
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
“Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children: Which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;” 2 Peter 2:14-15
“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.” Proverbs 6:32
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father, but is of the world.” 1 John 2:16
Unfortunately, unless we raise sons that HATE sin, as God hates the sin, this problem will not get better.
We can do better than this, Moms. Are you with me?
Be strong and Courageous. Raise men of valor, honor, respect, and integrity to stand firm and hold tight to righteousness.
Let us not raise sons who waver in their convictions being tossed like the waves of the sea! Teach them the truth, which is LIFE!
“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10
Moms, I know you are on board. You are ready to teach your daughters how to be careful so that someone doesn’t sneak something in her drink. Your daughter wouldn’t walk in the dark by herself, would she? I hope you are already having conversations with your boys about being respectful of people, their possessions, and authority. I pray you and your husband are talking to your kids about sexual sin, pursuing and protecting their purity and not falling to the temptations of sin.
But in case you aren’t, I pray that this motivates you more than anything. We can make a difference for the future of society by raising loyal, faithful, men and women who love the Lord and His ways!
It really is the only cure.
