Productive Play

There are many different ideas and theories out there about them.

Should children play with toys, or should they only be stimulated by nature, or natural old fashioned toys like a ball of yarn?

What about electronic toys, tablets, iPods, or anything that gives of EMF waves?

When I was first married, things were tight financially, as they are with most young married couples. When we found out we were expecting our first baby I fell for the commercialistic lies, the myths surrounded what is really needed to be a parent. I figured out pretty quickly that really all you need is some diapers, washcloths, onesies, clothes to keep them warm, a few blankets, a car seat and the rest is really bonus or luxury. Not only do you not need 75% of what is marketed to new moms today, but truthfully your child might be better off without all the gizmos and bright new toys.

Once our oldest hit the toddler stage I wasn’t quite sure what my parenting philosophy would be regarding toys. I felt scammed by consumerism and was kind of rebellious in my heart about not allowing any outside influences to entrap me again in believing I needed more than I did.

So, we didn’t have many toys. In fact, we were minimalist in many ways.

Then a friend of mine who has a child the same age shared her passion for books, toys, and exploring learning with her child, and she invested in cool toys, which she viewed as tools to inspire creativity. As I witnessed her intentionally engage teaching her child, I was inspired to change my perspective towards toys and to be intentional as well.

All of a sudden I felt free. Free from feeling manipulated by an agenda and able to delight with my children and in their joy as they expressed learning and growing.

Yet a few years later an older woman in our congregation challenged me to realize that “a child’s play is their work.”

Wanting to invest in their education and keep the children stimulated, I decided to try to purchase and encourage family members to give gifts that were intentional in teaching something in addition to be of my particular child’s interest, or delight directed.

Then as the family grew larger and the amount of toys grew larger, I wanted to simplify. So we buckled down and donated massive quantities of toys. It felt so good! And it forced me to have to start putting tools in my children’s hands more often, rather than just toys. We’re taking about a broom rather than a buzz lighter year action figure!

I have heard older women speak on this topic, suggesting not to have any toys at all, but rather have tools appropriate for children to use. Their exhortation is that we equip our children to contribute and be productive! Now, do my kids have toys? They sure do, but the toys are a reward to be played with when their work is done and to be honest they enjoy work that has purpose, work that feels BIG. 

I believe deep down in every soul is a desire to contribute, to fulfill a need, to be living on purpose. I think that we often times forget that children are just miniature versions of us.

And the coolest lesson to learn as a parent is that our children each have unique gifts, skills, and abilities. They have each been designed by a Creator who made them for special purposes. And as we raise our kids, we get the awesome privilege of watching them discover their gifts and interests.

Most of our toys (most of them) have purposes. Each child may have a few that are just for fun. But we try to make sure that what we have either educates, stimulates creativity, or helps him/her to accomplish some kind of work or creative art.

This doesn’t happen easily though. I feel like I am constantly weeding out toys that seem to have no point. Here are some things to think on regarding choosing which toys to keep or give away.

1. Should boys have guns to play with?

          When I my oldest son was a toddler I was against guns in general, but I also didn’t want him to play with toy guns. It seemed to me the logical decision. If we didn’t want him to be into guns as an adult, why in the world would we train him to enjoy playing with toy guns when he was younger? I no longer have this view of guns, but what is funny to me, looking back, is that he began making guns and making gun sounds out of legos! I really found this peculiar since he hadn’t been exposed to any violent movies or cartoons! My conclusion is that there is a God-given, ingrained and natural instinct that all boys have. God designed men to protect, to provide {hunt and gather}. When little boys naturally begin playing “protection and hunting” it’s because God designed them to do that when they are older– to protect and provide for a family. So needless to say, now our boys are mainly young men who love to play airsoft, go to the shooting range with dad, and so forth.

2. What kinds of toys are good for equipping and training up girls in their God given giftings?

             Dolls. Let’s talk about dolls vs. stuffed animals for a moment. An older woman once shared with me how disturbed she was to walk down an isle at the toy store and see that the majority of toys in the girls section had become dolls branded with bad attitudes and stuffed animals, many of which came with clothing or had the programming to talk. She was disturbed by it because she felt that this contributed to the rise in disrespectful children who then were growing into adults who put a higher value on the life of their dogs than a baby. The humanistic agenda is very sneaky. We need to be aware of the influence of society to value animals higher than human life.

I found this perspective to be very interesting because I had never heard it before. And though I do think that a few stuffed animals here and there are harmless, she had a point!

People do view their dogs and cats as their children in some cases. And spend thousands of dollars keeping them alive, dressing them up and Now, let me just say if I offend you here I am sorry… but dogs and cats aren’t human. They are dogs and cats, not babies. We have a dog, we love Moses, but he is a dog. So lets relate stuffed animals to dolls in the same sense we do dogs to babies. Are they ok for kids to play with, for sure, but as a dog. If a child’s play is their work, I believe it is also an element of education. I propose a child’s every day play trains them for their every day life as an adult. If they play with stuffed animals as people, then there is a chance they will have a humanistic world view when they are older. If a little girl plays with a dolly, she is practicing being a mommy. If she plays “house,” she is praticing being a home maker. If a boy starts making guns out of his legos its because God created little boys to grow into men who have an innate desire to protect and provide for a family; which is also a good thing.

So let me encourage you, as the holiday shopping begins, pray about what gifts you buy your children and other peoples children. Be purposeful and think about what the toy is really going to teach them. Is it going to teach them productive play or will it end up in next years donation box? I have been down this road enough times to know how easy it is to make mistakes in gift buying.

Here are a few websites to help you out:

Plus online shopping is so much faster and easier!

These are the main companies we like to support and enjoy being blessed by the products they sell.