My first son was born by cesarean. I planned to have a VBAC with my second son only to be turned away by my “supportive” hospital when labor began at almost 42 weeks. This is the birth story of my third son…
I woke up around 2am on Saturday May 12th with contractions coming approximately every 3 minutes. I timed them for a while and then decided to contact my doula. Unsure of what was going on, she decided to come over and I continued laboring. I laid back down to rest more before the sun came up. I was able to sleep some in between contractions. At about 10am my midwife showed up and my contractions started slowing. She suggested my husband Billy & I go for a walk, so we started walking up and down our road. Things were not picking up, so we came back inside. I went to lay down in bed to keep from exhausting myself since things seemed to be stalling. I felt disappointed. As a VBAC mom I just felt like my body was failing or something.
I laid in bed listening to music and a praise song came on and it said,
“My whole world is caving in, but I feel you now more than I did then. How can I come to the end of me and somehow still have all I need? God I want to know you more, this is how it starts…I find you when I fall apart.”
It hit me hard because I felt like everything was falling apart. I had wanted this VBAC for over 2 years and I knew at that moment that it was out of my control but in God’s control. I had done everything in my power to achieve a VBAC yet in the midst of labor I was left feeling powerless. I became completely aware of God’s control over the situation and that he would sustain me no matter what the outcome. God gave me grace in that moment to put complete faith in His plan for my birth. I surrendered and all I had was faith. I felt peace.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have it’s full affect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
At some point my contractions began getting very strong on my back. Billy, my doula, and a friend took turns, and had to constantly be at my side for rubbing my back and applying counter pressure. It seemed that I was in transition for hours upon hours. I felt something was stalling me again and I was dealing with exhaustion. At times my legs lacked the energy to stand. I remember telling my doula that I didn’t feel like things were progressing.